Scorpion Thunderbolt: The Ultimate Hack and Slash film from Godfrey Ho
#96 of the 150 Movies of 1984
Our next feature keeps this trash train right on moving. Infamous schlock master Godfrey Ho wasn’t done torturing audiences in 1984, and he moved right into the hacked and slashed Scorpion Thunderbolt. This may be one of his most egregious offenses, considering it’s about 90 percent Grudge of the Sleepwalking Woman from 1983, a production that Ho wasn’t even involved with in any way, shape, or form. He lifts a soundtrack made up of bits and bobs from Tangerine Dream and Jean-Michel Jarre. He’s got his good friend Richard Harrison wandering the streets of Hong Kong, busting heads in what amounts to an incomplete feature. The whole thing is stitched together with duct tape and bubble gum and released in Hong Kong sometime in 1984, again the records here are scarce at best.
One weird detail that always bugs me about Godfrey Ho movies is how his name doesn’t appear last in the opening credits. Instead, it’s followed by the production company, as if he’s just one part of the chaos instead of the man who orchestrated it. You’d think someone stitching together this much nonsense would want top billing.
The plot, and I use that word very loosely, involves an evil witch who’s trying to obtain a magical ring. The ring is in the possession of an American named Richard, played (of course) by Richard Harrison. Meanwhile, a giant humanoid snake monster is on the loose in Taiwan, killing people seemingly at random. There’s no clear connection between these plotlines, and by the time the movie tries to explain it, it’s already collapsed under its own incoherence.
This is a sleazy affair. Richard Harrison is operating in full Halloween III Tom Atkins mode here, a creepy, mustached lothario with a predatory taste for younger women. Only Harrison comes off even more sour, with a nastier demeanor and a greasier vibe all around. Right out of the gate, he’s bedding some hitchhiker he scooped off the roadside. Almost like The Fog, only sleazier and twice as abrupt. The love scene was made with about as much care and respect as a Vivid Video production. Imagine Ron Burgundy with some tart’s legs in the air. That’s what we have going here. It’s just another staple from Godfrey Ho’s exploitative schlock playbook: disjointed storylines, inappropriate sex scenes, and baffling edits that feel more like a triple-dog dare than actual filmmaking.
This film is packed with off-the-wall weirdness and a handful of scenes that are just plain disturbing. There’s no continuity. Things happen without any setup or reason. One moment Richard Harrison is sleeping with women and protecting this ring. The next, a giant snake monster. There’s no rhyme or rhythm, no structure, and definitely no logic. The snake monster actually kind of rules. It’s a guy in a suit, yes, but the design is gnarly, and the eyes glow red like some bootleg kaiju. It doesn’t have tons of scenes, but the few scenes it’s in are pretty pulse-pounding, and the gore, when it shows up, isn’t terrible. It’s clear that Ho didn’t have any hand in the effects but instead recognized the effort and used it to his advantage.
Scorpion Thunderbolt leaves everything to be desired. By the end, I found myself more interested in checking out Grudge of the Sleepwalking Woman, just to see exactly how much of this was lifted and used to make this feature. While it has a bit of a charm, Scorpion Thunderbolt is hard to get through. Casual viewers are going to bounce immediately, and honestly, I wouldn’t blame them. The film plods along and has enough charm for seasoned fans, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t drag in the middle. Godfrey Ho’s pictures are a vibe, but they’re also a test of patience. You don’t watch them expecting coherence. You watch them because they’re broken in the most entertaining way possible.
Is this movie worth saving from shelf rot? For collectors, most definitely. This is a rare and hard to find movie that would be sought after by a ton of film fans. Especially fans of the weird and bizarre. But that doesn’t actually translate into a good movie. There are tons of plotholes and issues with the production but Godfrey Ho definitely tried to do something. Casual fans are going to have a very hard time getting into this one. RottenPop may have fun with this one but I can’t see myself watching it multiple times. It gets a single Garbage Day star from us.
First Screening: January 1984
RottenPop Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (1 Star): “Garbage day!"
Director: Godfrey Ho
Writers: Godfrey Ho
Cinematography: Raymond Chang
Starring: Richard Harrison, Juliet Chan, Tsui Shou-ping, Lin Nan-Shi,
and Kuk Jeong-Seok
Studios: IFD Films & Arts Ltd.
Country: Hong Kong/Taiwan
Genres: Action Horror
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